


hold onto that feeling

by outranks



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Comfort No Hurt, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 10:41:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outranks/pseuds/outranks
Summary: “I have this plan,” Rook says. “It starts with us being togethernow,and then in the future everything works out and we get more dogs.”





	hold onto that feeling

**Author's Note:**

> (beta'd by [CrownBeed](http://crownbeed.tumblr.com/) who said "It's like. Hand-holding. But with dicks" which I think is good??)

There has never been a time in Jacob’s life where sleep came easy, uninterrupted. Not for as long as he can remember. Not as a child protecting his brothers, not as a teen in juvie, not as an adult in the military. 

Not after.

But sometimes it’s different with Rook at his side, in his bed. At least it _feels_ different. Rook is strong and capable and there’s a familiar trust the Jacob has only ever felt so strongly for his brothers, even if he knows he’s a fool for letting anyone else get so close. Especially a man who has chosen to become their enemy. Who he _knows_ will try to doom his family when push finally comes to shove, and there’s nothing Jacob won’t do to protect Joseph. 

But still, Jacob lets Rook _in_ , and for a while he lets himself nurture the private thought that he can keep this man and keep his family too. 

And sometimes Rook stays the night, stays until morning, and Jacob sleeps easier. 

When Rook _stays_.

Too often he doesn’t, and Jacob knows that’s just how things have to be.

He’s not like Joseph who inspires devotion, or John who _demands_ it. Jacob earns loyalty through blood and sweat and death, and he has no kind words to offer at the end of the day, and no reason to make anyone stay just for him. Which is what he wants so much it feels like a weakness in his veins, eating away at him like a poison. 

But Rook is someone whose strength comes as naturally as breathing, and whose loyalty can’t be bought or sold or _taken_. Only earned in ways Jacob doesn’t _know_. So his weakness stills his tongue, keeps everything inside where Rook can’t gain that last ounce of power over him. And if he doesn’t say anything, then he doesn’t have to hear that he’s not worth choosing and he can have this thing with Rook for just a little longer. Just one more moment. 

Jacob presses his palm to Rook’s chest, feeling the steady _thump thump thump_ of his heart that matches Jacob’s own. They don’t get a lot of mornings like this. When everything is calm and quiet, where the fighting has paused for a moment as the dawn breaks. 

From his position on the bed, he can see snow falling in thick sheets outside. It’s supposed to blanket the mountains before night, leaving them inaccessible by the rest of the county for days. Maybe longer if they’re unlucky.

His people have been preparing since the weather started to turn colder; stocking up on supplies, getting themselves ready to traverse the snow and the cold and snuff out the last of the Resistance where it festers in his territory. Once and for all. And when the Whitetails are no more, Rook will finally have a reason to leave him for good. 

It’s how they both know this will have to end, and Jacob has been preparing for that too. 

He tucks his face against Rook’s neck, breathing in the scent of him, wanting to have every piece of him memorised. When he throws himself fully into being Joseph’s sacrifice, he’ll hold onto this moment the way he’s held onto his brothers his whole life. 

“Stop watching me sleep,” Rook grumbles, patting the back of Jacob’s hand where it still rests over his heart, lacing their fingers together. “It’s weird.”

Jacob wants to pull him closer, hold Rook tight and never let him go. He wants to spend the entire day in bed with the man he loves. “You should go,” he says instead.

“ _What?_ ” Rook’s muscles tense, the beat of his heart changing to a faster _thumpthumpthump_ that no longer keeps time with his. 

“It’s snowing,” Jacob says, pressing a kiss to Rook’s skin. “It’ll only get worse and if you wait too long you won’t be able to leave.” And once he leaves he won’t be able to come back, which is for the best. For both of them. A clean break and then time apart, so that Jacob can heal that part of his heart that he’s exposed to Rook. 

“You—” Rook take a deep breath, inhaling slowly then exhaling _slower_. “Next time, please start with that.” He gently squeezes Jacob’s hand before letting go and sitting up, looking toward the window. “It _is_ snowing.”

“Why would I lie about that?

Rook waves him off, climbing out of bed. “Shit, I haven’t seen this much snow in years,” he says, pressing his hands and face to the glass, giving Jacob a view of the long lines of bare skin and hard muscles. “Look at it all.” He glances back over his shoulder, catching the path of Jacob’s eyes as they sweep up his body, but he only huffs a laugh, rolling his shoulders back. “Why aren’t you more excited?”

Jacob shifts, staring up at the cracked paint on the ceiling. “I’ve seen snow before.”

“So uh—” Rook starts, hesitance in his voice that Jacob can hear him trying to hide under a lighter tone. “Right, so, what was that about leaving?”

“The roads are gonna get bad; you should leave before you can’t.”

“I can fly.”

“Too dangerous.”

Rook hums something quiet, thoughtful. “Guess I’ll just have to stay.”

“Rook—”

“ _Jacob_.”

“You know what this is… if you stay—” Jacob scrubs his hands over his face and rubs at his eyes until there are spots in his vision. “If you don’t leave you’re only going to make things harder.” He hears the shuffling of bare feet on cold tile and feels the bed dip under Rook’s weight as he sits beside him.

“I’m such an idiot,” Rook laughs, with barely a trace of real humour. “I _know_ when I’m making a mistake, even if I usually just go ahead with it anyway, but lately all that’s been going on in my head is _you_ and how much I fucking—” he shifts, moving until he’s settled between Jacob’s thighs, bracing one hand on a bent knee like his intention is to just make himself comfortable for this conversation. 

Jacob knows Rook better than that. 

“I have this _plan,_ ” Rook continues, trailing his fingers along the inside of Jacob’s thigh, where there’s only undamaged, unscarred skin. “Well, most of a plan anyway.” He bypasses Jacob’s cock that’s slowly starting to fill and harden, waking up to Rook’s gentle touch, instead he scratches his nails lightly over his belly where his muscles have begun to soften with age. “It starts with us being together _now,_ and then in the future everything works out and we get more dogs.”

Jacob pushes himself up onto his elbows. “ _More_ dogs?”

“Yeah,” Rook says, leaning down to press a quick kiss to his lips, “you have a lot of dogs.”

“The _judges_ aren’t _dogs_.”

Rook hums, clearly unconvinced. “I’m not leaving,” he says, kissing a trail down Jacob’s neck and pressing teeth to his throat. Not biting, not yet. “And we’re going to get some dogs who won’t try to tear my hand off when I pet them.”

“You’re not—” Jacob tilts his head back to give Rook better access to mark him, breath catching on an order to go. If Rook won’t leave, Jacob won’t make him. Probably couldn’t do it if he tried. “Stop petting the judges.” He never used to like his lovers marking him, always thought that he had enough scars and bruises and _history_ written on his skin already. But he wants it from Rook.

He wants a lot of thing from Rook.

“If I see a dog then I have to pet it,” Rook says.

Jacob huffs laughter, dropping back onto the bed and pulling Rook with him. “So tell me, how do we get to that part? Where it all works out and we have a lot of dogs?”

Rook reaches over to the small table beside the bed and grabs the bottle of lube that he pours into his hand like Jacob has an unlimited supply of it. Like restocking won’t involve at least one awkward conversation with one of the faithful who look up to him as a stalwart leader who isn’t frequently put on his back by a man who’s supposed to be the enemy. 

Jacob curls his fingers in Rook’s hair, dragging him down so that they’re breathing the same air. “You’re not gonna get another chance to leave after this.”

“ _Good._ ” Rook lines up their cocks and grinds down once, sending a shiver up Jacob’s spine, he wraps slick fingers around them both. “But you should know, the first part of my plan does involve us talking about our feelings.”

“Sounds difficult,” Jacob says, hooking one leg behind Rook’s thighs.

“Yeah?” Rook breathes laughter into his mouth, chasing it with his tongue. “I think that’s the easy part.”

“That right?”

Rook grinds down again, pumping his fist around them in frustratingly slow strokes. “See, I think you feel the same way about me as I feel about you.” The bed creaks with worn and rusted springs as he presses his forearm to the mattress, changing the angle to rub their cocks together, fucking into his own fist. “We’re good, we’re—” his breath hitches, exhaling a quiet sigh— “we’re on the same page.”

Jacob has to kiss him again. He slides his hand down the back of Rook’s neck, guiding him into another kiss, licking at teeth and tongue and feeling a smile pressed to his lips. “We are,” he says, trailing his free hand down his chest to wrap over Rook’s and increase that soft, wet pressure around them. 

“Fuck,” Rook groans. “Now we just have to figure out the rest of it.”

“Join us. Join _me_.”

“Live in a bunker for the better part of a decade?”

“With our dogs.”

Rook swipes his thumb over the head of Jacob’s cock, pressing at the tip. “You’re trying to confuse me with sex.”

“Damn right,” Jacob says, but if anyone is confused it’s him. Instead of making Rook leave, pushing him away to protect them both, he’s on his back letting Rook talk him into an idea for a future that he wants to live for. “Rook—” he starts, voice rough and broken, wanting to say things he’s barely let himself admit. There’s a familiar pressure building; a gentle electricity that sings up and down his spine to settle low in his belly. He grunts, trying to push into Rook’s fist and pumping faster with his own.

“Fuck, fuck, hold on,” Rook says, pulling away and sitting up. “Let me.” He bats Jacob’s hand away and replaces it with his own. “Let me see you come. Let me— I can’t believe I get to have this, I can’t— I fucking _love you,_ Jacob Seed.”

Jacob’s toes curl, hips stuttering as he comes in stripes over his own chest and Rook’s hands that don‘t stop stroking him, working him through the last shivers of his orgasm. “You—” _love me,_ he wants to say, not sure if he _can_. Nothing has felt like this since his brothers found him and he had a _home_ again. “ _Rook._ ” His heart is thudding in his chest, leaving him breathless.

“Yeah.” Rook sounds _giddy_ , releasing Jacob to get his hands around himself, jerking his cock in quick, needy pulls. “I really do,” he says, pushing Jacob’s thigh up against his chest and curling over him. It’s a little tight, a little uncomfortable on his hip, but he can feel Rook’s slick knuckles bumping the inside of his thigh with ever desperate stroke, and see the furrowed concentration of his brow and it’s all worth it. 

“You know I—” Jacob clears his throat, words catching before they can leave his mouth. “You gonna come any time soon, or can I go shower?”

“Fuck you,” Rook laughs, speeding up until his muscles tense and his breath hitches, shuddering with his release, that Jacob feels on his balls and softening cock. “Now you’re mine.”

“Had to make it weird.”

“Yep,” Rook says, wiping his hands off on the sheets and flopping onto Jacob’s chest; a comforting weight holding him down. “I can’t fucking believe that I’m considering living in a damn bunker with you.”

“Might not be so bad if the world ends.” It’s not the future Jacob ever saw for himself, definitely not the one he planned on, but he wants it more than anything. 

“And if it doesn’t…” Rook sighs. “I guess we’ll fake your death and move to Canada with our dogs.”

“I’m not leaving without my brothers.”

Rook sighs harder. “ _Fine,_ but I’m not converting to the cult.”

“I do, you know,” Jacob starts, needing to say it, “love you.”

“I know.”

Jacob wraps Rook up in his arms, holding him tight in spite of Rook’s laughed protests and demands to be let go. They can have this. It won’t be easy, at least not as simple as Rook’s plan, but it can be _theirs_. Something to fight for and _survive_ for, that he can keep even after the world ends. Or even if it doesn’t. And outside, the snow continues to fall, covering everything in the county, quieting the world for a few days while Jacob plans for a new future with Rook. With his _family_.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on [tumblr](https://outranks.tumblr.com/) i'll die without validation


End file.
